For a guy who never played in the MLB postseason, giving away Shohei Ohtani’s No. 17 jersey means a lot. Because the Los Angeles Angels haven’t been to the playoffs since Ohtani could shave his face, he left for Mickey Mouse’s favorite team, the Los Angeles Dodgers, to win some more empty-calorie nonsense division titles. I am an Atlanta Braves fan, so I know what those division titles are all about.

But for the Halos to give away Ohtani’s once sacred No. 17 to quite literally the worst player in baseball in Hunter Dozier shows us that the only thing the Angels are winning anytime soon is The Angeleno Spite Wars. I mean, who doesn’t love a good spite war? If you can’t win a battle for the life of you, you must win the spite war! The Angels could be better soon, but I feel bad for Ron Washington…

To be fair, the Angels had no reason to keep the No. 17 jersey untouchable. Mike Trout’s No. 27 is different because he has spent his entire pro career with the Angels. He will be a first-ballot National Baseball Hall of Famer, wearing exclusively an Angels ballcap. Ohtani could sport a Dodger Blue one day, but he still has his entire 30s ahead of him. For now, No. 17 belongs to Dozier in L.A., baby!

For those who like petty WAR more than petty wars, the range from Ohtani to Dozier is the spectrum.

When I think of 17, I think of Stevie Nicks, Winger, ABBA, and most definitely Ohtani’s jersey now.

While I don’t know what is going to happen this MLB season, I would expect that the Angels and I will be doing the exact same thing: Watching somebody else play in the AL Wild Card Round instead of them. No, the Angels are not going to be a No. 1 seed or a No. 2 seed, like the Dodgers. If the Halos are playing meaningful baseball in October, then put Washington into the Hall of Fame immediately.

Although every franchise values its greater former players differently, all this does is show us how poorly run of an organization the Angels really are. They should have done everything in their power to keep Ohtani, which would have required winning more games than they lost. Despite having Ohtani, Trout and an often-injured overpaid non-fan of the sport Anthony Rendon, they could not!

Overall, I don’t have much of a problem with the Angels handing out Ohtani’s No. 17 jersey … eventually. However, letting Dozier take it for himself in the same offseason that Ohtani left you illustrates that you are not living well, and this is not the best revenge. If you want to change the narrative about your franchise, you would not resort to these petty shenanigans in February.

The No. 17 is strung out on confusion, trapped inside a role of disillusion called Greater Los Angeles.