I open the door. It’s Perry.
“Hey bud”, he says with a smirk. “We’ll try not to make too much noise.”
He winks at my wife, who giggles. My heart sinks.
Perry pats me on the head before leading my blushing wife upstairs. She never even looks back at me. I grab my emotional support chicken nuggets and Joe Maddon body pillow before heading down to the basement.
I log into my reddit account and navigate to /r/angelsbaseball. I can hear the loud slaps and Perry’s powerful strokes emanating from the master bedroom. I silently weep as my wife moans in ecstasy. My paltry boner surges against my Sonic the Hedgehog boxers as I find the first post to comment on. I don’t read the post itself. It doesn’t matter.
“It’s very strange. The Perry apologists that trash every other Angle. People are even making Memes to support Perry. That takes effort. You don’t see them making Arte or Nevin or Frostad support memes. Makes you wonder.“
I can barely spell through my tears. I hear Perry roar as he prepares to release his Minasian mayo into the love of my life. My wife’s moans reach a crescendo as she lets out one final scream of pleasure, then falls silent. I hate Perry.
