Apparently, I also played for the Reds and we just traded for Mike Trout basically giving up pennies for a rest of the year rental.

And in my dream he lived near me so I went over to his house to welcome him to the team. He wasn’t home but his wife was, and she was messing with an old school tv (like the old wood ones with the knobs on front) trying to get something on for the kids but was having trouble with the antenna.

I told her I think I had an extra one she could have but she said not to worry about it. I went on to say that we don’t have cable either but we have a couple of the streaming services and that normally does the trick for us. She said that the only thing that they had was Netflix (made it seem like they couldn’t afford much beyond that) but she wanted to watch a movie and the kids needed something to watch downstairs.

She came across as really dissatisfied in their marriage, and went on to say that all she really wants is a bike. I started to tell her that she just needs to talk to Mike and he can afford to get her a bike but she seemed nervous to talk to him.

At that moment he walked in and it appears that he thinks I’m macking on his wife. I introduce myself and tell him how excited I am that he’s in the team but he’s being a total dick. Says that now that he’s here things can change and I should be able to at least double my batting average. Goes on to make it clear that he’s only staying for the rest of the year and wasn’t going to re-sign.

I’m feeling super awkward and go to use the restroom and kill some time and when I come out he’s gone outside with his crew and now I’m feeling the chemistry with his wife. She’s totally into me. I can’…I’m married and he’s my teammate. I’m trying to give signs that I’m not interested by walking to the door. And she’s talking about how unhappy she was and how poor they are and that she hd seen my 401(k) and how even though I don’t hit as well as Mike that she knows she’ll be happier with me.

At that point someone came in from the garage and I freaked out thinking it was Mike, coming to kick my ass. But it was a Spanish grandma? I was too scared to stay any longer and just ran out the front door.